Who am I?
(Source: mrbubbles182, via toyotatumblin)
i fell in love with him. i dont want any other guy.
and if he comes with goodbyes, i have to put up with it.
i didnt choose hurt or goodbyes, i didnt choose the pain.
i chose him, and if you love someone, you do no matter what.
whats a year when we have a whole life together ahead of us?
(via airman-trainee-athlete)
My mom said she will get me a tattoo.
I’ve wanted one for a long time. :3
I need to find out what I want!
I went to The Dragonfly house today, and they interviewed me and put me to work! I’m now a volunteer! Lacey and I are working there and it is amazing. I love it there. They make you feel so welcome and included. It’s great. Today, we did some filing and cleaning. Sounds boring, but we had a lot of fun! We also got a free “No Excuse 4 Child Abuse” bracelet and a dinosaur pillow case! I can’t wait until we go back tomorrow!
So, if you look closely you will see a tiny kitten. She is chilling in my hood.
Painted my nails. :3
Today in class, my teacher started talking about graduation. Fine, everyone really needs to know what’s going on with that. It was informative. She starts to ask how many tickets everyone needs, and then she looks at me and announces that I’m not going. I told her before they even brought up graduation in class that I wasn’t going. I’m going to run a 5k with my family instead. It’s my graduation day, so I want it to mean something to me. Big celebrations aren’t my thing. I’ve never liked them. Anyways, after she says that, someone in my class asked me why I wasn’t going. I told them. My teacher then asks, “Is graduation not meaningful to you, then?” What I wanted to say was, “Fuck you. I’m tired of you assuming that I don’t care for anything just because I don’t do it your way. I’m tired of you acting like you know so much about me, when you can’t even tell me what happened in my past. You don’t know as much as you think you do. Graduation means a lot to me, but the big celebration doesn’t. It’s another day, only I get to say that I am done with school for now. That’s all. Sure, it’s a great accomplishment. Great. I care, I just don’t shove it in everyone’s faces and want a huge party. I want to do something that I actually want to do. I want to spend it with my family.” Of course, my brain went, “Oh, fuck! Now’s the time to screw Lindsey over and make her look weak and stupid.” Instead of saying what I wanted to, I rambled about it not feeling right to take up seats when someone else could use them. I started saying that I would feel bad for asking my family to fill up seats that we don’t really want, when someone else’s family could have those seats and watch their child walk across the stage. It was a horrific sight. I felt so stupid. When I was don’t rambling and making myself look like an idiot, she looked at me and told me to “own up to the fact that you just don’t want to be there.” Honestly, I had done that several times before. She just never listened. I have straight-up told her, “I do not want to go to graduation. I want to run a race with my family.” She must not have cared enough to listen, though.
It upset me that she put me on the spot. She knows damn well that I hate it. It’s one of my biggest fears. She knows that. She has known since sixth grade. I was sent to her when the drama teacher thought something was wrong with me because every time we went on stage for presentations, I cried. I literally cried every single time I was sent on stage in front of my classmates. I was terrified of being the center of attention. I still am. She had the nerve to say, “I don’t mean to put you on the spot, but I just don’t see why you don’t want to come.”
I am so tired of this place. I am so tired of the people here and how they act. It’s ridiculous. I want out. Now. I just want to leave.
I’m so tired, though.
I hope you choke.
